Posted by: jo | November 9, 2009

Am I a different kind of parent from my own parents?

When Aru was born I said to myself, “I shall be a different parent”. I guess most of the new parents think like that, but do we really become one!?

When I think about myself, I am able to be different in some ways, but still sometimes I do behave like my parents did with me. I had a very disciplined childhood and the credit goes to my dad. My mom was an easy going lady but she always made sure that I never did anything that might displease my dad. If I did anything wrong, I would get lOng lectures from my mom. I rEAlly hated that!!!! Answering back and arguing was not allowed and when sometimes I would tell her that it was not completely my fault, her lecture would go on different direction and topic.

I never wanted to do that with my kids. I remember, sometime last year, Aru was not listening to something and I started talking on and on and on. When I stopped after 10-15 mins., she went to her room and sat there with a blank face. I asked her what happened. She said, “Mamma you talked to me so much that I could not understand anything and my brain is going dizzy!” That day I could understand what made my mom do this but because I was aware of the consequences, I tried my best not to repeat it (though sometimes I do fail).

My dad was a very aggressive person and sometimes could be harsh with his words. Somewhere this exists in me. When I am extremely angry I don’t realise what I am saying, just to regret later.

There were two great things that my parents gave me that I desperately try to give it to my kids. My dad always showed his unconditional love for me that later helped to build my confidence and my mom had immense trust in me that made me a trustworthy person. I can never lie to people who are close to me. I am happy that the confidence and trust factor is developing in Aru.

We learn a lot from our own parents and our childhood experiences…it can help us to do better parenting for our kids.

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Responses

  1. Good too see u are blogging after so long!

  2. atlast……missed u a lot…..

  3. great to see you back!

  4. You have learned an amazing thing – how to give thanks for the good one’s parents left one with and how to forgive the errors they made. If you pass that talent on to the kids, they will grow up to be remarkable adults like their mom 🙂 Welcome back!!


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