Kids are ill and the doctor is on holiday for next five days. Imagine the panic when the schools are getting attacked by the swine flu and at the same time kids fall ill and their doctor is unavailable!! It is not easy in India to have faith in some other pediatrician especially when you have blind faith in your kids’ doctor and when one of your child is asthmatic.

So here is the story. I was looking forward for book fair on 27th and 29th, when Aru fell ill with cough and fever on 26th morning. I was not disappointed by it because she is usually fine by the next day (magic medicine by her doctor). But man proposes and God disposes. I then came to know that since her doctor is on leave for next five days, I will have to show her to someone else. Now I was disappointed!!!!!!! This doctor looks at her and says if her fever doesn’t go in two days get the swine flu test done and keep your son away from her. I could feel my heart throbbing in my throat. The same night, Ashmit starts coughing. I ran to the same doctor next day (27th). He said Ashmit’s cough was not bad. I was a little hopeful now because Aru’s fever was gone. We planned to go to the fair on saturday and we did go there only for an hour.

Kids loved to be outside and I thought they are fine now! Bought handful books from the stalls of National Book Trust and Pratham Books. Both the publishers have books at reasonable price. Most were in the range of Rs.15-Rs25 at Pratham Books and prices were below Rs.50 at NBT. Bought 38 books in an hour There were events going on at the fair. Children saw magic show. So the day went happily on Saturday.

We planned to go to another book fair, Bookaro, on sunday, as the kids looked fine and playful. But Sunday morning was not the same. Kids woke with bad bad cough and cold, tired  and not willing to eat anything. On Monday the doctor said to get the swine flu test done and I was wondering whether to wait for kids’ doc. to return on Tuesday or get the test done.The life threatening danger of this disease made things clear and I got the test done. Today, the kids are much much better, charged with full energy, their doctor is back and the test report is negative.

When things have to go wrong, everything seems unfair and when things have to be alright, everything falls in the right way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For last few months Ashmit and Aru do most of the conversation in Hindi. Thats a big progress for us but Ashmit’s teacher has a complaint that when she speaks to him in English, he answers in Hindi. Well I’m happy that my Brit kids have become Indians. Anyway, in the process of transformation, Ashmit’s vocabulary has become somewhat Hinglish (Hindi+English). Here are a few of them that I can remember today…

• “I was running तेज़ly से …”

• “If I am naughty, you are going to डाटें me?…”

• “Book के pages टूट गयें हैं… “

• “मेरी car का wheel फट गया…”

There are more examples but can’t remember as for now. Will keep updating this as they come…

This Calvin and Hobbes reminded me of Ashmit’s latest expectation from everyone. So, anyone visiting us, we coming from outside or grandparents on the phone, Ashmit has to say “What is for me?”

Yet another difficult phase of parenting. It’s so embarrassing when  somebody just drops by and Ashmit says, “You have not brought anything for me?” Hope this habit of his passes away soon!

Ashmit loves to watch advertisement on television and we have to be extra careful about it when kids are around.

A few months back, I was rearranging my dressing and all the stuff was on my bed. Ashmit came in the room and looking at the bottles of deodorant, he asked, “Why are so many ‘very very s_ _ y’ on the bed”. I was like WHAAT!!!!, having no clue where he learnt those words from.  After a few days, I happened to see a deo ad which had this slogan in the end.

In another such incident, Ashmit and I were watching television, when there was an ad of a shampoo where different models are shown shaking their neck and wavy hair. Ashmit says to me, “do you want that shampoo” I said “No” “You don’t want to  make your hair shine like that and move like this?” he said moving his neck left to right, even though he doesn’t have hair long enough.

Once I was watching television with kids and there was  one ’such’ ad that startled Aru and she asked me, “Do older girls wear diapers?”

Other than these, there is constant demand from Ashmit for the products shown. Effects of ads are more on kids than on us!

…I know the answer is both.

But, what I mean is the situation when the heart says (and the kids also want) to make them feel secure and the brain says let them be on their own and become strong. Many times I listen to my brain and end up seeing my kids’ sulky face as if they are thinking, “Instead of saying those words, can’t you hug me and pamper me! You don’t love me!…” Yes, mom’s heart can feel things to any extent.

A few days back, in the night time, Aru didn’t want to go to bed alone…

Aru (apprehensively): I don’t want to go to bed alone.

Me: Why?

Aru: I am feeling scared!

Me (exasperated): But everyday you sleep alone, then why are you scared today?!

Aru: I am scared everyday!

Me: For so many days you went off to sleep being scared?! Did anything happen?

Aru: No

Me: Then why are you scared? Alright, what are you scared about?

Aru: Monster will come.

Me: And do you think if Papa or Mamma are there, they will be of any help? Can we do anything if the monster comes?

Aru (smugly): I feel safe with you!!

I didn’t know how to react to this. I was rather shocked as I was not expecting her to say that. My heart said hug her and put her to sleep, but as always I listened to my brain. So finally we agreed that she can go to sleep with lights on (she is scared of her night lamp as well). I did that but I was not happy. Next day, at night time, I stayed next to her till she was very sleepy. Yes, mom’s  heart can do things to any extent and ruin things.

I guess, I need to look for a good book on this topic. Any suggestions?

When Aru was born I said to myself, “I shall be a different parent”. I guess most of the new parents think like that, but do we really become one!?

When I think about myself, I am able to be different in some ways, but still sometimes I do behave like my parents did with me. I had a very disciplined childhood and the credit goes to my dad. My mom was an easy going lady but she always made sure that I never did anything that might displease my dad. If I did anything wrong, I would get lOng lectures from my mom. I rEAlly hated that!!!! Answering back and arguing was not allowed and when sometimes I would tell her that it was not completely my fault, her lecture would go on different direction and topic.

I never wanted to do that with my kids. I remember, sometime last year, Aru was not listening to something and I started talking on and on and on. When I stopped after 10-15 mins., she went to her room and sat there with a blank face. I asked her what happened. She said, “Mamma you talked to me so much that I could not understand anything and my brain is going dizzy!” That day I could understand what made my mom do this but because I was aware of the consequences, I tried my best not to repeat it (though sometimes I do fail).

My dad was a very aggressive person and sometimes could be harsh with his words. Somewhere this exists in me. When I am extremely angry I don’t realise what I am saying, just to regret later.

There were two great things that my parents gave me that I desperately try to give it to my kids. My dad always showed his unconditional love for me that later helped to build my confidence and my mom had immense trust in me that made me a trustworthy person. I can never lie to people who are close to me. I am happy that the confidence and trust factor is developing in Aru.

We learn a lot from our own parents and our childhood experiences…it can help us to do better parenting for our kids.

Yesterday, Ashmit got his first term result and I received his first report card. Things and feelings are so different for the second child, is the realisation I keep having with Ashmit. When Aru had her first result declared, I remember, I could feel my heart throbbing in my neck, but didn’t feel anything for Ashmit. Maybe, because I am now more focused on whether the kids’ basic concept is clear or not than the grades they get. And I must say I am very happy with Ashmit’s progress in Academics and activities. And I am glad his teachers are also very impressed with him, especially his dance and music teacher.

Ashmit’s result was fantastic with gold star in each category of each subject, except in drawing shapes, colouring within lines, drawing and balancing on one leg are the categories where he got silver star (which means he is progressing). I was wondering if I tell his teacher about his achievement in a drawing competition (Club Mahindra holiday package as the first prize), then what will be her reaction!!? Ashmit also got three certificates for achieving excellence in the field of- “Rhyme time”, “Crafty Hands” and “Tell a Tale”. Rhyme time and story telling were performed on the stage, individually.

Shapes is something I really have to work on because even I know he is not good in it, but can’t do anything for the drawing bit as he loves doing free hand colouring and drawing.

It’s been long since I last posted something. It’s not that nothing was happening, but sooo much was happening that I could not take the time out. First Ashmit fell ill in the month of August followed by me. While my recovery took almost one month, the kids’ grandmom fell ill soon after that.  Mom and I are fine now but both of us are still under medical treatment.

At the end of September we had planned for a holiday in Pondicherry (for our anniversary) but due to my illness, we cancelled that and went to Agra. Initially, I was not happy with the plan because mom was not well and also I had seen Agra when I was a child, but I must admit it was a great relief. We just enjoyed ourselves relaxing and eating. Mo wanted the kids to see Taj Mahal and Agra Fort so we visited those places and I am glad the kids really enjoyed the trip and were on their best(est) behaviour.

Kids in the corridor The hotel had this table chess at a corner in the lobby. Whenever we passed through the lobby, the kids had to play here. Though Ashmit does not know how to play it but both of them still enjoyed… Every evening a magician showed some magic in the lobby and in the end he would also reveal the trick, so it was fun for kids. Kids also bought a few stuff to show their talent to their friends. Now I have little magicians at my home. Beautiful lamps in the lobby. Finally, kids and Taj Mahal. I saw it after 25 years but the memories were still so fresh and the monument still looked so amazing and beautiful! Though Agra Fort was not much of an experience. I remember going through each room in the Fort that was now locked for the tourist viewing. Still the view of Taj from Agra Fort was mesmerising 

Though the second half of the year did not start very well, hoping after Agra experience, things will be in place. As for now, all of us are waiting to celebrate Diwali next weekend and pray for good health and happiness…!

Old Mrs Rain and old Mrs Sun

Lived in a house together.

All day long they sewed and sewed

On a quilt of patchwork weather.

Old Mrs Rain stitched blocks of grey,

Till her stiff old thumbs were weary,

And the patchwork quilt grew drab and dull

Like a day that is dark and dreary.

Then old Mrs Sun cried, “Mercy me!

We must make it a bit more shining!”

So she turned the whole quilt inside out

And added a silver lining.

And that is why, on a summer’s day,

We may have both kinds of weather.

For old Mrs Rain and old Mrs Sun

Made the patchwork quilt together

Edith Hadley Butterfield

Just a day before Ashmit fell ill, there was an art competition in my complex for kids below 12 yrs, conducted by Club Mahindra. There was cash prize for first three winners and a special holiday package for two adults and two kids for The best drawing. Aru and Ashmit also participated in it, just for fun.

kids busy drawing

They had to draw ‘A memorable holiday’. Ashmit only scribbled all over the paper and in the end I asked him to make a smiley face, so he made about 12-13 smiley faces. A few days back Mo got a phone call from the Club Mahindra saying that Ashmit has won the special holiday package. I was like…WhAAAAt!!!! Is it some kind of joke!!!! He only scribbled on that paper with different colours. I couldn’t believe that. Now I know what does modern art mean…

Ashmit's modern art

Goa beach by Aru